"I Am Not Just Quite There Yet"

I can hope for the worst- case scenarios, sure.

But when it comes to planning subsequently for positive outcomes,

I am just not used to that.

But it does not mean that i don't want one.

Everything i have ever loved or gathered- I've lost. 

I've been numb since so long,

That now I've no idea how these feelings would ever make sense to me.

This indescribable emptiness is all that's left of me.

But if i am sure about anything- it's the fact that i don't want you to get hurt. 

And being with me is nothing but that.

So, I'll hold myself back and hide behind those intriguing conversations of ours, the serendipitous moments we had. 

You terrify and excite me at the same time. 

But the more I try to have it, the more it breaks because It's really been a long time since anything as good as you has happened in my life.

I think I’ve had this heart for a while now.

I know we said that we weren't there yet, 

but i think you are not here now and i am not quite there yet.

©irksomepleasant_

{Gurnihma kaur}