I wonder...

When did i become so unfocused because I've always been alone and never felt lonely,
I never used to waver about my decisions.
But now,
All i can do is wonder:
Would i have never felt this way
If I'd stayed alone like that?
Or,
What if it was me all along?
What if all of this was my fault?
Am i that cruel?
I placed my hopes on you but
did i live upto yours for me?
here i am drowning in all of these questions- unable to shake myself free off you.

~Irksomepleasant