"To The Dwindling Amity"

Everything sank in mere fraction of seconds.

And as much as i tried to escape that simple fact, 

i was sacrificing everything for him while he never felt anything for me.

The more i wanted it to stop- 

The more i fell short.

The scars didn't fade- In lieu, 

they made me hate myself even more.

As i wasn't ready to share this part of myself with anyone else yet,

I looked for him in every guy i met.

But by and by i got past it.

Now,

years later while drowning in this indescribable emptiness;

i made myself another cup of coffee while remembering how all of it was still there.

How those forevers him and i promised each other fell apart. 

But amidst all those experiences, i still didn't have one- The one with the vitality to hate somebody forever.

So, in hope of finding even a piffling aim, a fragile moment of happiness- 

I didn't look back. 

But now, 

getting over it seems to be a little strange while knowing that the worst could still strike me at any point.

So, i tried to keep up with the shadows of my past until the very end but i was exhausted now. I didn't know how to be genuinely happy again.

But what felt even more strange was that even while being a thousand miles away from me, 

you were there by my side with all those logical arguments of yours.

And after making this much sense to me; when you say that you're not perfect,

i wanted to tell you that neither am i.

When you repeatedly asked me to not judge you; I wanted to tell you that I'm not concerned with whether something is 'good' or 'bad' because i know how hard it is to appraise people and you deserve so much more than just an appraise,

I wanted to tell you that i am not going to judge you. And not for even a slightest of moment will i ever forget how i told you that I didn't love myself and instead of letting me go, you were willing to teach me.

This was the moment when i realized that maybe i needed to lose everything, maybe it was the letting go, and those broken promises that brought us together.

This was the moment when i realized how precious you were. And,

even though i've felt you when i needed you but i know nothing of your touch.

Maybe It really is funny how sometimes we just find things;

It's funny how i found you.